I mean, I could give it a really clickbaity title or I could just say it like it is - death has come for me. Probably not but my head pounds when I stand up so I'm pretty sure that's a sure fire sign I'm going to die soon.
I'm not sure how well the sarcasm comes across but it's there - I know I'm not really dying.
Monday! I've realised that Monday's just make me really sad - I have my busiest lecture and seminar day at uni then I have no time before dance and then dinner is really late and I always end up feeling really sad on a Monday. So the week got off to a good start right!
Now realistically, Monday had been this difficult for a while - I was just starting to get ill and I spent most of the day choking because my throat wasn't very good at being a throat. I struggled to see the relevance of the lecture and the seminar was the same as last week except only six people turned up which makes me feel so good about actually making the effort to go to uni. The Producing the Package seminar was just another two hours of doing work but in a MAC suite at uni. So thrilling.
I was so officially ill on Tuesday that when I tried to write 'officially ill' in my notes for what happened on Tuesday, I typed 'officially in'. Sign.
Usually I go for an early morning Mettricks but I made the decision not to push myself and let myself have a couple of hours longer in bed. I got up about 11 and started work on my 6-point to do list. At this point I had it planned that I would have everything on my weekly to do list done by Thursday and then I would spend all weekend playing Pokemon. Spoiler: that didn't happen.
But I started by writing up my Newsday log notes into a proper log so I can just add the information from News Week and submit it in December, which is dangerously and painfully close now. I also edited music for my dance team. And then I didn't do anything else for the rest of the day and I didn't go to uni because I my head was literally throbbing.
I was so glad I didn't have Newsday on Wednesday because I definitely wouldn't have made it and I'm just very ill at this point. I didn't go to voice coaching because I couldn't talk, I did some sofa Christmas shopping, I helped my friend with her fashion photography, I stressed a lot, I nearly had a migraine and then I stayed up really late working on my script for my assignment presentation the next day.
And then on Thursday I went in a little early to finish off the script and rehearse and then we went and did the presentation and I think it went really well, we didn't go over time and we felt really comfortable asking questions. Then I went home and did a bunch of work (like, really slowly), then I went to work at the cinema at uni and watch the new Jack Reacher film (not my cup of tea).
On Friday I slept a lot, I spent a very long time very slowly working on one work experience application (but I did it!) and I spent a surprisingly long time questioning how long I need to cook two tins of spaghetti hoops for lunch. It was a very slow day but not in a nice relaxing way, in a 'I want to be motivated and get lots of work done but my head throbs if I stand up too fast and all I want to do is sleep and be sad'.
I found out on Friday that someone that was in my form at school passed away and it really hit me and I didn't even know her that well, but I saw her basically every morning for a year and she was so lovely and I know people who knew her really well and it's just really surreal. Especially with watching Children in Need that night it just really hit me how short life is and I was really sad on Friday night (and most of this week) but I just wanted to write something here - just, make good decisions, be careful with drugs. I'm feeling very spacey right now.
Today, Saturday, I had the biggest lie in I think I've ever had and slept until the afternoon, I then had a little Asda trip to pick up some fresh veg to make a roast dinner tomorrow then I tried to be productive but I felt like death outside so I'm actually a little bit worried about going to London tomorrow.
I'm meant to be seeing Panic! At The Disco tomorrow and I'm really excited about it but I also feel like death, so I'll update you on that next week.
Sorry this week has been so rubbish, I get really sad when I can't be productive and I'm trying my best and it's not going very well. Too much thinking, I'll get back to you next week where there's no deadlines and hopefully less disease.
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