This week, it seems like two deadlines have snuck up on me completely out of nowhere to stress levels are sky high. But lets take it back to Monday, where stress levels were only at 30,000 feet.
On Monday, my Concept to Commission lecture 'scared the shit out of me' (thank you Past Sophie for those eloquent words of wisdom) but the seminar time was actually really useful in terms of getting some research done and really ploughing on with the assignment. My pitch presentation is now confirmed to be on the same day as my first full package is due, which definitely helped the stress levels that's for sure... No one missed the sarcasm there.
However the Producing the Package seminar was actually pretty useful - I chatted Jon through my idea and he approved, he thinks it's a good idea and as the event I was filming wasn't until later in the week, he approved of me leaving a little bit early which is always nice.
Tuesday began with a 9am cafe work date with my friend from my flat in halls last year following a very successful six-hour session on Sunday. We stayed for a few hours, had hot chocolate and lunch, went into town and then to uni to go make the most of a printer. I then went back to my flat, had a nap and went to dance in the evening. This is the beginning of my decline to the mess I am now writing this at the end of the week! It was a slow day but I know I was going to have a super long day on Wednesday so I was mentally preparing myself for that.
I'll describe very briefly what Wednesday was:
8am start.
Yes, I know a lot of people will say that that's a normal work day and I need to grow a pair and start complaining but it was a very early start. I was then at uni until 5pm and had people coming over for a games night that evening. I was a very tired girl at the end of Wednesday.
Despite all that complaining, News Day wasn't actually that bad - I was a Social Media Assistant Producer for the day so I got to tweet and make Facebook posts all day. That sounds like an easy day but it was actually a lot of making sure we didn't miss any content, thinking of creative ways to keep content varied and up to date and I actually did enjoy it. I probably posted about 50 tweets over the course of the whole day alongside a bunch of Facebook posts and scheduling even more posts that I think have been removed since then because they have not been going up on Facebook. But it's not my responsibility any more so it's fine!
I also made brownie and that went well.
Thursday was a fairly easy day - I went in for my two hour InDesign session but that was really just another environment to work on my research for the Concept to Commission pitch but the Who's The Boss seminar was cancelled (reserving comments on how I feel about that) because our lecturer was written off as ill this week. I then went into town for some retail therapy (and took most of the clothes I bought back), went home for a shower and back to uni to pick up equipment to film for my package story!
My new story, after the gig at Notes Cafe fell through, was a vintage clothing line launch at my university's shop Re:So - I got my boyfriend to help me film the event, I took photos and conducted both video and audio interviews as well as doing a piece to camera that was 90% improvised. Looking back, I think the whole event was a success both for Re:So and for me in terms of recording it but my anxious mind told me then and is still telling me now that this package actually counts as part of the marks for my actual degree grade and nothing is ever good enough and I'm a failure. But that's just how my brain works.
Then I went to a dance social and I hated it but that's not a post for this blog.
Friday is my beloved day off but even that was busy - I had to return all the equipment I'd used the night before, tidy my room, go to the halls I lived in last year to pick up a parcel Amazon delivered for me, go to the train station to pick up my sister who's here to visit for the weekend, go to the SU to see my friends and have lunch, come home, go back into town to go to Asda, then collapse for the night.
This weekend I should really be doing a lot of prep for my two approaching deadlines but with my sister here, I'm having to be very creative (and a lot of late nights, hence why this is 'technically' going up on Sunday... sorry) with how I get my work done. I'm sure it'll all get done in the end.
My primary anxiety right now is that all of this counts - all of these assignments actually count towards my final degree and I feel like I should have put a lot more effort in than I have but I don't know where that effort would have gone because I also feel like I've put everything I could have into these assignments but part of me really wants that First but I really know I'm not going to get it and it's crushing me a little.
My crumbling mental health is showing. Hopefully, with two deadlines surpassing this week and a Halloween dance fundraiser with all my friends next Sunday, Week 5 should be better!
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